If life were a MMO

Landor · 30th April 2008, 04:23

Life the MMO

Dev: Our first content update is LIVE! We’ve now separated the light from the dark.
Troll: !@$#(*^&! You nerfed the dark!

Dev: Due to feedback we have adjusted light and darkness. Light will now last 12 hours and darkness 12 hours.
Troll: !#@(*$&!#$! You nerfed the light!

Dev: Our second patch has been released. We have separated the heavens from the firmament in preparation for future patches. We have adjusted light and dark to be on slightly variable schedules based on the newly introduced orbital physics system. This will result in light and dark having slightly different durations from day to day but in a fixed, measurable way.

Troll: !)($&!@#*&%^! Light and dark is now TOTALLY BROKEN!
Troll 2: Why can’t the devs get something so simple as light and dark to work correctly? I quit!
Player: Can I have your stuff?

Dev: We have released a free patch that reveals the newly created ‘land’ feature. The waters are now separated from the waters and land is available.

Troll: !#$*(&! Still no fix to light and dark and now you screwed up the waters too!?!! WTH!!? You guys seriously suck! Learn to make a !@$*&^ GAME!

Dev: For our next update we will be introducing a new playable race called “man”.
Player: Oooo will there be female men?
Troll: !$#(*&!@!!!!!! Another broken system on the way!
Player: Why are you still here?

Dev: Man has been released
Troll: !$#*!$(*! I’m naked?!?! WTH DEVS!?!?!
Player: I don’t want to stare at a naked dude all day, could we get females please?

Dev: “woman” has been added to the man race
Player: WOOT!
Troll: !$#@(*&!$@*(&! Added woman messed up my man. His graphic is all glitched now below the waist. And WTH can’t I eat from the tree in the middle of the garden place on the land.
Player: My woman can eat from it, here, I’ll show you.

Dev: EXPANSION! The Outcasts has been released!
Troll: !@$(*&#!$(*&!! An expansion? Some glitched woman character trades me a freakin fruit that’s SUPPOSED to increase my INT and instead a I get booted out into some wretched hole? WTF!!?@?!@# And by the way, morons LIGHT AND DARK ARE STILL BROKEN!

Dev: our first content update of since the expansion will introduce a new raid area called “the flood”
Troll: WTH!?!@? No fixes for land and waters, no fix for light and dark, my man has clothes now but I can’t talk to anyone else because of the new languages patches, and you’re adding more broken ****!?!!@??@# WTH!!?@?#

Player: I heard there will be a boat in the update

Dev: Enjoy our new patch! It’s live!!!

Troll: @#$&@!%#&@! WTH!!!!! I just logged in and my character is GONE! WTH!?!?! OMG?!?!?!! It says “The flood has washed you away”
Player: Oooo I love the new boat! It’s so Big!

Heke · 30th April 2008, 09:02

Hahaha...

Nosix · 30th April 2008, 19:52

Troll: @*&@^ WHEN is the promised Jesus Expansion coming!!!shift11

Sebastian Persson · 30th April 2008, 19:54

LOL, this was sweet!

Traceur · 1st May 2008, 01:56

can't, stop, laughing...

player: i got a quest to kill my NPC pet in an instanced mountain zone, and guess what? they changed the game-rating and just as i was going to kill it they added a child-slaughter restriction! sellouts!

Nepila · 1st May 2008, 02:30

I lolled at "Player: Oooo will there be female men?"

Landor · 1st May 2008, 02:49

More to come, feel free to add some to it if you guys want.

yXXe · 1st May 2008, 22:20

I rarely laugh out loud reading the forums. Landor, you made my day!

StrawHat · 3rd May 2008, 13:35

lmao cant wait to see the dev adding a marriage system

Landor · 4th May 2008, 02:26

Heres so more to add onto it guys.

Dev: In our new patch, players may now start existence as a male or female human.
Troll: WTF? I've been playing since launch, and I could only choose from various one-celled organisms. I had to work for hours just to breathe oxygen, and don't even get me started on the grind to earn opposable thumbs! And now new players can just roll up humans to start with? Way to respect your loyal players who've been playing for the last 100 million years.

DEV: The Flood live event is currently scheduled for 40 days and 40 nights. When one of the 8 in-game complete the quest. I suggest you mention checking their inventory for birds.

Player: Wow, we finished the quest (and what a finale! Love the Dove animation) now we have arrived on the new expanded land area. The epic quest line here is: repopulate the world. Interesting and fun. I'll get started right away, too bad I know this means its only a matter of time until we have trolls again.

Player: I liked the world event "flood" but I must say that there should have been a hobby system introduced before hand! How handy would fishing have been for those 40 days and 40 nights? Well, technically I guess the dev's had a hobby built into the quest - birdwatching. In any case I rather enjoy the new hobby that goes along with the repopulation quest. Thanks Dev's!!!

Troll: Fishing is all I do now, I can never find the right class group for the repopulation quest! Need more single player content...

DEV: PvP has been introduced, along with the Reputation system.

P.S. Player run Tower Event is considered Greifing. Language patch released to prevent further incidents. Any attempt to circumvent may result in account lock. You have been warned.

Troll: When I was levelling once I grouped up with this dude. "MoZeZ". He said he was a prophet or some ****. Anyway, he busted me and some friends out from being killed by an army, told us he knew a short-cut so we followed him, and dude, he PARTED THE RED SEA! OMFGWTH?! HaXX0rz! I hope that sumbitch got banned

Troll: Wat-a-minute! I reported that burning bush as a bug! It was a quest NPC? I do think the raining frogs were pretty cool though!

Only everytime I complain to customer support they just tell me that the Devs work in mysterious ways!

Troll: The housing system is so crazy it's not even funny... I mean, first you pay about 200 gold for the house, and then you pay 1 gold a month for upkeep. Devs, you really need to fix that. It's ruining the economy. I will admit that the unlimited chest thing is kinda nice though...

And mounts... You can get mounts at level 16. Is that safe? You can't drink a honeybrew until level 21 after all.

Dev: Once men reach level 40, due to diminishing returns, their stats are being lowered in each level...

Female men reaching level 55 will have stat boost for a period of time till next level and their DPS will improve greatly.

Smoking weed and drinking ale will reduce your overall stats. Might end up with level cap being reduced for your character.

Player: I need a character rewrite!
I TOTALLY borked my stats. I leveled up all sorts of skill and hobby trees, but being "skilled aprentice" in Physics, Electronics, Woodworking, Landscaping, Auto Mechanics, Heavy Equipment, Small Artillery, Rifleman, Childrearing, Paving, Arborist, Roofing, Carpentry, Painting (utility and artistic), Singing, Horn Playing, Computer Repair, Sewing, Horse Riding, Swordsmanship, Archery, Canoeing, and Violin are not enough to be able to handle the upkeep requirements of the housing system.
I need to rewrite and streamline into either Economics or Day Trading.

And can I get a rewrite on my genetic heritage? One of my brothers is a total dev suck-up, and this laundry list of inherited conditions is really making it hard for me to keep playing the game as long as I want to.

Quest troll: Hey! I can't finish the quest, "Marriage at Cana". THe quest requires I drink the water, but the quest NPC keeps changing the required item into wine.

From the latest dev chat:

Player: So are there any plans for a new pvp area?

Dev 1: Ohh yes. Although I can't tell you when I can tell you we are working on a new, faction oriented, pvp area called "The Holy Land". In this area players will be able to battle the other "factions" and vie for the dominance of their beliefs for hundreds of years. This area will have full pvp, perma death and will be located somewhere in Israel. We will have more info on this exciting new

Dev 2: Yea for ignorance!!!

Dev 3: Did someone say fishing?

Dev 1: I didn't, did you say fishing?

Dev 2: Fishy Fishy I want a Fishy!

Dev 1: Wait, what were we talking about again?

Sebastian Persson · 5th May 2008, 15:30

+rep for awsomeness!
Sweet work!

Traceur · 5th May 2008, 16:34

player: so my mate did this "tribute" quest & he got 40 exp for killing 20 sheep and i did the quest and collected wheat and got nothing! so i googled for walkthrough's and it says "put meat on alter" but there where no sheep respawns so i thought "where can i find meat" just as my mate walked with his fat avatar... so long story short, now I'm stuck with with bad rep' and can't group with anyone and i can't agrro creatures: NO PvP & No PvE? wtf? so now I'm walking around waiting form them to introduce player housing to craft the first city...

30th April 2008, 04:23	#1 (permalink)
Landor Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 611 Rep Power: 2	If life were a MMO Life the MMO Dev: Our first content update is LIVE! We’ve now separated the light from the dark. Troll: !@$#(^&! You nerfed the dark! Dev:* Due to feedback we have adjusted light and darkness. Light will now last 12 hours and darkness 12 hours. Troll: !#@($&!#$! You nerfed the light! Dev:* Our second patch has been released. We have separated the heavens from the firmament in preparation for future patches. We have adjusted light and dark to be on slightly variable schedules based on the newly introduced orbital physics system. This will result in light and dark having slightly different durations from day to day but in a fixed, measurable way. Troll: !)($&!@#&%^! Light and dark is now TOTALLY BROKEN! Troll 2:* Why can’t the devs get something so simple as light and dark to work correctly? I quit! Player: Can I have your stuff? Dev: We have released a free patch that reveals the newly created ‘land’ feature. The waters are now separated from the waters and land is available. Troll: !#$(&! Still no fix to light and dark and now you screwed up the waters too!?!! WTH!!? You guys seriously suck! Learn to make a !@$&^ GAME! Dev: For our next update we will be introducing a new playable race called “man”. Player: Oooo will there be female men? Troll: !$#(&!@!!!!!! Another broken system on the way! Player: Why are you still here? Dev:* Man has been released Troll: !$#!$(! I’m naked?!?! WTH DEVS!?!?! Player: I don’t want to stare at a naked dude all day, could we get females please? Dev: “woman” has been added to the man race Player: WOOT! Troll: !$#@(&!$@(&! Added woman messed up my man. His graphic is all glitched now below the waist. And WTH can’t I eat from the tree in the middle of the garden place on the land. Player: My woman can eat from it, here, I’ll show you. Dev: EXPANSION! The Outcasts has been released! Troll: !@$(&#!$(&!! An expansion? Some glitched woman character trades me a freakin fruit that’s SUPPOSED to increase my INT and instead a I get booted out into some wretched hole? WTF!!?@?!@# And by the way, morons LIGHT AND DARK ARE STILL BROKEN! Dev: our first content update of since the expansion will introduce a new raid area called “the flood” Troll: WTH!?!@? No fixes for land and waters, no fix for light and dark, my man has clothes now but I can’t talk to anyone else because of the new languages patches, and you’re adding more broken **!?!!@??@# WTH!!?@?# Player: I heard there will be a boat in the update Dev: Enjoy our new patch! It’s live!!! Troll: @#$&@!%#&@! WTH!!!!! I just logged in and my character is GONE! WTH!?!?! OMG?!?!?!! It says “The flood has washed you away” Player:** Oooo I love the new boat! It’s so Big!

30th April 2008, 19:54	#4 (permalink)
Sebastian Persson Developer Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Malmö Sweden Age: 24 Posts: 530 Rep Power: 9	LOL, this was sweet! __________________ Important Programmer dude. Dear MacGuyver, Enclosed is a rubber band, a paper clip, and a drinking straw. Please save my dog.

1st May 2008, 01:56	#5 (permalink)
Traceur Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 2,927 Rep Power: 8	can't, stop, laughing... player: i got a quest to kill my NPC pet in an instanced mountain zone, and guess what? they changed the game-rating and just as i was going to kill it they added a child-slaughter restriction! sellouts! __________________ stop looking at my post count!it's not a habit, it's cool, i feel alive.... welcome to the TBC!

1st May 2008, 22:20	#8 (permalink)
yXXe Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Norway Posts: 378 Rep Power: 1	I rarely laugh out loud reading the forums. Landor, you made my day! __________________ New here? http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/posting Please take a look there, first.

3rd May 2008, 13:35	#9 (permalink)
StrawHat Junior Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 22 Rep Power: 1	lmao cant wait to see the dev adding a marriage system __________________

30th April 2008, 09:02	#2 (permalink)
Heke Community Moderator Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 137 Rep Power: 8	Hahaha...

30th April 2008, 19:52	#3 (permalink)
Nosix Newbie Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 3 Rep Power: 0	Troll: @*&@^ WHEN is the promised Jesus Expansion coming!!!shift11

1st May 2008, 02:30	#6 (permalink)
Nepila Junior Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Helsinki, Finland Posts: 110 Rep Power: 1	I lolled at "Player: Oooo will there be female men?"

1st May 2008, 02:49	#7 (permalink)
Landor Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 611 Rep Power: 2	More to come, feel free to add some to it if you guys want.

4th May 2008, 02:26	#10 (permalink)
Landor Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 611 Rep Power: 2	Heres so more to add onto it guys. Dev: In our new patch, players may now start existence as a male or female human. Troll: WTF? I've been playing since launch, and I could only choose from various one-celled organisms. I had to work for hours just to breathe oxygen, and don't even get me started on the grind to earn opposable thumbs! And now new players can just roll up humans to start with? Way to respect your loyal players who've been playing for the last 100 million years. DEV: The Flood live event is currently scheduled for 40 days and 40 nights. When one of the 8 in-game complete the quest. I suggest you mention checking their inventory for birds. Player: Wow, we finished the quest (and what a finale! Love the Dove animation) now we have arrived on the new expanded land area. The epic quest line here is: repopulate the world. Interesting and fun. I'll get started right away, too bad I know this means its only a matter of time until we have trolls again. Player: I liked the world event "flood" but I must say that there should have been a hobby system introduced before hand! How handy would fishing have been for those 40 days and 40 nights? Well, technically I guess the dev's had a hobby built into the quest - birdwatching. In any case I rather enjoy the new hobby that goes along with the repopulation quest. Thanks Dev's!!! Troll: Fishing is all I do now, I can never find the right class group for the repopulation quest! Need more single player content... DEV: PvP has been introduced, along with the Reputation system. P.S. Player run Tower Event is considered Greifing. Language patch released to prevent further incidents. Any attempt to circumvent may result in account lock. You have been warned. Troll: When I was levelling once I grouped up with this dude. "MoZeZ". He said he was a prophet or some **. Anyway, he busted me and some friends out from being killed by an army, told us he knew a short-cut so we followed him, and dude, he PARTED THE RED SEA! OMFGWTH?! HaXX0rz! I hope that sumbitch got banned Troll: Wat-a-minute! I reported that burning bush as a bug! It was a quest NPC? I do think the raining frogs were pretty cool though! Only everytime I complain to customer support they just tell me that the Devs work in mysterious ways! Troll: The housing system is so crazy it's not even funny... I mean, first you pay about 200 gold for the house, and then you pay 1 gold a month for upkeep. Devs, you really need to fix that. It's ruining the economy. I will admit that the unlimited chest thing is kinda nice though... And mounts... You can get mounts at level 16. Is that safe? You can't drink a honeybrew until level 21 after all. Dev: Once men reach level 40, due to diminishing returns, their stats are being lowered in each level... Female men reaching level 55 will have stat boost for a period of time till next level and their DPS will improve greatly. Smoking weed and drinking ale will reduce your overall stats. Might end up with level cap being reduced for your character. Player: I need a character rewrite! I TOTALLY borked my stats. I leveled up all sorts of skill and hobby trees, but being "skilled aprentice" in Physics, Electronics, Woodworking, Landscaping, Auto Mechanics, Heavy Equipment, Small Artillery, Rifleman, Childrearing, Paving, Arborist, Roofing, Carpentry, Painting (utility and artistic), Singing, Horn Playing, Computer Repair, Sewing, Horse Riding, Swordsmanship, Archery, Canoeing, and Violin are not enough to be able to handle the upkeep requirements of the housing system. I need to rewrite and streamline into either Economics or Day Trading. And can I get a rewrite on my genetic heritage? One of my brothers is a total dev suck-up, and this laundry list of inherited conditions is really making it hard for me to keep playing the game as long as I want to. Quest troll:** Hey! I can't finish the quest, "Marriage at Cana". THe quest requires I drink the water, but the quest NPC keeps changing the required item into wine. From the latest dev chat: Player: So are there any plans for a new pvp area? Dev 1: Ohh yes. Although I can't tell you when I can tell you we are working on a new, faction oriented, pvp area called "The Holy Land". In this area players will be able to battle the other "factions" and vie for the dominance of their beliefs for hundreds of years. This area will have full pvp, perma death and will be located somewhere in Israel. We will have more info on this exciting new Dev 2: Yea for ignorance!!! Dev 3: Did someone say fishing? Dev 1: I didn't, did you say fishing? Dev 2: Fishy Fishy I want a Fishy! Dev 1: Wait, what were we talking about again?

5th May 2008, 15:30	#11 (permalink)
Sebastian Persson Developer Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Malmö Sweden Age: 24 Posts: 530 Rep Power: 9	+rep for awsomeness! Sweet work! __________________ Important Programmer dude. Dear MacGuyver, Enclosed is a rubber band, a paper clip, and a drinking straw. Please save my dog.

5th May 2008, 16:34	#12 (permalink)
Traceur Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 2,927 Rep Power: 8	player: so my mate did this "tribute" quest & he got 40 exp for killing 20 sheep and i did the quest and collected wheat and got nothing! so i googled for walkthrough's and it says "put meat on alter" but there where no sheep respawns so i thought "where can i find meat" just as my mate walked with his fat avatar... so long story short, now I'm stuck with with bad rep' and can't group with anyone and i can't agrro creatures: NO PvP & No PvE? wtf? so now I'm walking around waiting form them to introduce player housing to craft the first city... __________________ stop looking at my post count!it's not a habit, it's cool, i feel alive.... welcome to the TBC!