Cybersex is it cheating?

[Lord Uthar]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cybersex
As characters develop they seek to pursue their goals in the world of nave they claim fortune and seek to bond.
Our roleplaying heros may find themselves in situations which may pose great conflicts to us, the players behind the keyboard.


Also consider cybersex in the gaming world such as appeared in baldurs gate, larry series, witcher, mass effect, dragon age( bioware are a dirty bunch).
Is such behaviour fair to do from the player to their partner in life?


I expect this thread to remain mature as possible, in order for it to remain open and unlocked.
I believe this matter concerns a nice chunk of the community.
Let them have their word.


Ps O admit a large point of me posting this was because I read the roleplaying section lacked interesting posts.

[Eonwe]

If you are emotionally involved with the person I guess it'd be cheating, but forcing a demon to sleep with you as a part of a dialog choice in a game because you are roleplaying a sick corrupted mage isn't really cheating.

I guess the whole thing it hinges on would be an emotional connection. I mean if you are on an MMO cybering with someone every day and you have actual feelings it would be actual cheating. If you did it as a part of a story and the person behind the other character had no meaning or emotional attachment with you then it wouldn't really matter.

I'm not really an RPer so I don't have this problem, but just my two cents.

[Cevoia]

I think it depends on what kind of relationship you are in. If I had a long-term partner who expected us to be faithful to each other, I would consider cybersex a form of cheating. It's not as bad as a real life act of unfaithfulness, but it shows a desire or even an intention to do so.

It also depends what kind of cybersex it is and how tied in you are to it. Do you view your character as a separate entity from yourself, i.e. you are roleplaying someone else completely? Or do you view your character as an extension of yourself? The former you could argue is not cheating, whereas the latter you could.

[Lord Uthar]

Originally Posted by Eonwe

If you are emotionally involved with the person I guess it'd be cheating, but forcing a demon to sleep with you as a part of a dialog choice in a game because you are roleplaying a sick corrupted mage isn't really cheating.

I guess the whole thing it hinges on would be an emotional connection. I mean if you are on an MMO cybering with someone every day and you have actual feelings it would be actual cheating. If you did it as a part of a story and the person behind the other character had no meaning or emotional attachment with you then it wouldn't really matter.

I'm not really an RPer so I don't have this problem, but just my two cents.

Even if you dont get emotionally involved, the actions you do in game reflect on what you wish to accomplish as a player, even if you do examine it from character prespective.
You want your character to be the best or worst in something, you work to achieve that goal.
You get turned on by sex(as we all) and since normal life cheating doesnt have to include emotional attachment, is there really a different between the two?

[Eonwe]

Originally Posted by Lord Uthar

Even if you dont get emotionaly involved the actions you do in game reflect on what you wish to acomplish as a player, even if you do examine it from character prespective.
You want your character to be the best or worst in something, you work to achieve it.
You get turned on by sex(as we all) and since normal life cheating doesnt have to include emotional attachment, is there really a different between the two?

Real life cheating in my mind involves two aspects. Physical cheating and emotional cheating. As physical cheating is impossible in this, I looked at emotional cheating as the determining factor for this.

[Ƈhase]

Cybersex vs Cheating goes hand n hand, it really depends.

If you are already involved with someone in the real world, whom you love and what not, then you suddenly lose the love you have for this person for the entity in the game, then yes its cheating.

However, if its a neutral thing, I would not consider it cheating, seeing as Virtual reality is far different than real life.

Erotic role play, for those who take it seriously, or can't get a real female. no offense.

[-TYRANT-]

I think any sexual act that your partner wouldn't approve of should be concidered cheating.

[Ƈhase]

Originally Posted by -TYRANT-

I think any sexual act that your partner wouldn't approve of should be concidered cheating.

then again, its not like the person is being forced to E.R.P with someone, they can easily say No.

[Chris84]

My grilfreind playing Sims 3 at nights, when i looked at her game she had made an girl with here name, living with 5 guys, and she have only build one bedroom...

Seriously, a game is a game, and fantasy characters is just , yeah , just fanatsy, but i see your point, worth thinking about. Voted no

[Pancake Effct]

In a video game IMO no. I mean a video game is basically almost watching a interactive movie. Unless your litterly obsessed and masturbating every time you play sims or mass effect's sex scene lol.

I've been dating a girl for 6 years and she could care less, in fact she plays most of the games I do.

Unless your playing an mmo and you are talking to another girl, and get the virtual freaky on, then that's a different story.

[sCouraGe]

Originally Posted by Chris84

My grilfreind playing Sims 3 at nights, when i looked at her game she had made an girl with here name, living with 5 guys, and she have only build one bedroom...

Seriously, a game is a game, and fantasy characters is just , yeah , just fanatsy, but i see your point, worth thinking about. Voted no

Looks to me like she is telling you something. Either grow 4 more penises, gain the stamina of 5 men, or call your buddies to get a bukake going. Well maybe not your buddies but you and 4 guys of her choosing, mostly who are able to supply what you can't.

If I were you iw ould put your GF on a regiment of verbal abuse, belittlement starvation and drugs. Make her fantasies change from 5 guys in bed to eating food, then order a pizza and profit.

[Reinholt]

Originally Posted by sCouraGe

Looks to me like she is telling you something. Either grow 4 more penises, gain the stamina of 5 men, or call your buddies to get a bukake going. Well maybe not your buddies but you and 4 guys of her choosing, mostly who are able to supply what you can't.

If I were you iw ould put your GF on a regiment of verbal abuse, belittlement starvation and drugs. Make her fantasies change from 5 guys in bed to eating food, then order a pizza and profit.

This. And make sure its an pepperoni pizza.

[Sebren]

is sex in movies considered 'cybersex'? No.. so how would any of this be cheating... Its graphically created characters having sex... you can observe but you cannot partake, simple as that.

[TheGabeCaron]

Ultimately, only thing that matters is what your significant other think of it. If they don't mind, it isn't cheating, but if it bothers them, it is.

[Wargasm]

rofl at cybersex...ive only seen cybersex in a game as funny and not serious, and in that case who gives a shit lol

if a person is serious about doing sexual things in game and having serious sexual discussion in a game, then they are pretty dam weird and their partner is prob weird also for being with someone like that. If you are having a real relationship with someone on a game when your in a relationship in real life, then (i cant beleave im saying this) i guess that would be cheating

[Lord Uthar]

Originally Posted by Sebren

is sex in movies considered 'cybersex'? No.. so how would any of this be cheating... Its graphically created characters having sex... you can observe but you cannot partake, simple as that.

Sex in movies is different since you are just a viewer and dont directly participate in it unlike in most games where you can get around it and not be forced to do it but still able to complete the game.

From my exprience I clearly think, this reflect on the reliationship you are in, if you seek cybersex then clearly something is missing in the reliationship(sex? love?).

I think cybersex in games is great because it can offer you some great reasons to fight for an opportunity to build your name in game.
Ps - cybersex also greatly improves creative writing.
But doing so while in a relationship is very problematic.

[DaveTs]

Wtf!!!?

Roleplay and Lore Discussions about roleplay, lore, mythology, worshipping and the world of Mortal Online.

Try to be more acurate creating topics....

[Lord Uthar]

Originally Posted by DaveTs

Wtf!!!?


Try to be more acurate creating topics....

Since cybersex and roleplaying go hand in hand, this is the most suitable place to post this.

[Garrеt]

Cybersex is... stupid.

[ScarletRose]

First of all, I am a little biased because I'm not jelous at all and as a matter of fact I hate jelousy in all it's forms ... so, cheating is not a big deal to me.
I never cheated on anyone out of respect for their feelings but ... I don't see anything wrong with it ... so take my opinion for what it is...

Cheating is really a subjective matter.
There are girls who find out that their boyfriend watch porn movies and thinks is cheating...

Anyway ... I don't think Cybersex is Sex at all...
In a videogame is even less so...
The pure act of playing a character who has sex makes you a cheater no more than playing an FPS makes you a mass murderer.

Developing an attachment to another player via Cybersex is a different matter.
It's still not cheating but having feelings for someone else could put a relationship at risk... no metter how it started...

[Traceur]

first i don't consider NPCs cybersex - it might be pornographic but its a fictional character, innately no different then one in a book or movie. cybersex is only when both parties are sentient beings...

now, whether that is cheating depends on both your RL relationship and your virtual one. some cyber-relationships may be no more then two people writing an erotic story together - mutual masturbation - and as long as it doesn't directly affect your RL love life then the type of partners who'll get offended by that would get offended by there partners watching/reading porn and those sort of things as well. but if this comes instead or compromises an active love life with your RL partner then it has the same symptoms of cheating - its a big freaking sign that your not getting what you need out of your love life. sometimes you can fix it in better ways, sometimes you can't or one or both partners simply won't, but even then in some cases (like when there are children) they might choose to endure.

but if cyber-relationships can get emotional, then it doesn't matter that its cybersex, its really no different then if you would be building emotions towards a RL friend you don't have sex with, its comes to the bottom line of having romantic emotions towards people who aren't your main partner... but then there are open relationships that are fine with that too (while other open relationships are fine with RL sex but cross the lines when any emotional involvement comes in).

and in all cases, what is or isn't cheating entirely depends on the agreement between you and your partner, regardless on whether you have the emotional maturity & compatibility to communicate and reach one, whether its a real agreement or a lie covering actual disagreements, its going to be there hanging over your heads.

personally for me it depends for me not only on the partner but on the state of the relationship. my best relationships have being "primal relationships", meaning polyamory but in which the sense of supremecy of the main relationship over any other is crucial, and in such cases its not uncommon to have tempoaray partial-monogamy (degrees of what is allowed with others) periods for when the relationship to build more security. i have had only one relationship that as a couple we both fall inlove with a 3rd party that loved us back, but i find such cases rare.

as for cybersex, if my partner does it and doesn't share the resulting erotic literature with me i'd find it as frustrating as a partner who won't share her/his fantasies with me regardless of whether it includes cybersex or not.

as for perpetual monogamy, i can do it but i find it emotionally cost - i can do it but it will always feel like i'm doing it for someone else's sake, and when it breaks instead of being jealous i get angry that i had to work so hard to keep a deal i was uncomfortable with to began with.

[Lachrymose]

Originally Posted by Lord Uthar

Also consider cybersex in the gaming world such as appeared in baldurs gate, larry series, witcher, mass effect, dragon age( bioware are a dirty bunch).
Does such beahviour seems fair from the player to their partner in life?

I agree with trace, I don't think you can cheat on a person with a computer. To me, this would be the same as watching porn while in a relationship. I wouldn't consider that cheating, but your partner may or may not appreciate it.

Cybersex with another person, however, I would probably consider cheating. It has all the same elements of physically cheating on someone, except there is no physical contact. In other words, the "intent" is still the same, but the method is different. Then again, someone who is doing it purely for RP and not because of any physical or emotional desire to have cybersex with the person... but try explaining that to your significant other.

I suppose it's open to interpretation really. The only opinions in this case that should matter are your own and your partner(s)'. If your partner (or partners) has a problem with it, then it doesn't matter what the rest of us think. I don't think she'd accept the excuse "but Eonwe said cybersex wasn't cheating!!" Especially since we all know that Eonwe would say just about anything to get a little e-bootay.

[Lord Uthar]

Originally Posted by Lachrymose

I agree with trace, I don't think you can cheat on a person with a computer..

Robots? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_doll

[Traceur]

Originally Posted by Lord Uthar

Robots? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_doll

still a form of masturbation. do you get jelous of a girlfriend's vibrator?

[Lord Uthar]

This is just a computer...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=in8B-PCGsRo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xiws6...eature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=632la...eature=related


Shouldnt i be jelaous of this?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=daphd...om=PL&index=46

Good thing my girlfriend dont have one I know of...
Does she?

[PhamTrinli]

Originally Posted by Lord Uthar

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cybersex
As characters develop they seek to persue their goals in the world of nave, claims for fortune, fame and bonding rise.
Our roleplaying heros may find themselves in situations which pose great conflicts to the players behind the keyboard.


Also consider cybersex in the gaming world such as appeared in baldurs gate, larry series, witcher, mass effect, dragon age( bioware are a dirty bunch).
Does such beahviour seems fair from the player to their partner in life?


I expect this thread to remain mature as possible, in order for it to remain open and not locked.
I believe this matter concerns a nice chunk of the community.
Let them have their word.


Ps i admit a large point of me posting this was since i read that the roleplaying section lacked interesting posts.

if you don't feel comfortable doing it in front of your girlfriend, then i'd say you believe it is cheating.

[zpullin]

What if you want your girlfriend to watch, but she doesnt feel comfortable for you to do it in front of her?

Originally Posted by PhamTrinli

if you don't feel comfortable doing it in front of your girlfriend, then i'd say you believe it is cheating.

[-Linn-]

There's a difference between cyber and erp.... erp is character to character, cyber is person to person. Cyber, I most definatly would consider cheating.... erp, not so much. I view rp as a blend between theatre and a co-op story, and most stories need some romance to spice them up.

I would not take offense if my bf played in a theatre, where as part of the plot he had to kiss another girl on the cheek. Sure, I'd be a bit jealous, but it's theatre... not irl.


Still, myself I could never understand how people can stay emotionally detatched enough from their character for all-out erp, I know I couldn't. I'm more than happy to keep most of it offstage.

-Linn

[Cablefish]

Roleplayed sex is sooo not cheating. It's not you who are having sex online. It's your character who is having a sexual relation with another character. It's happening in an imaginary universe.

It's not like i'd go "Sorry honey. I cheated on you with a pretty elf from fantasia"

[Travie]

Originally Posted by Traceur

do you get jelous of a girlfriend's vibrator?

Yes, yes I do

[Chris84]

Originally Posted by sCouraGe

Looks to me like she is telling you something. Either grow 4 more penises, gain the stamina of 5 men, or call your buddies to get a bukake going. Well maybe not your buddies but you and 4 guys of her choosing, mostly who are able to supply what you can't.

If I were you iw ould put your GF on a regiment of verbal abuse, belittlement starvation and drugs. Make her fantasies change from 5 guys in bed to eating food, then order a pizza and profit.

You best sir are full of ideas

[Cablefish]

Originally Posted by Travie

Yes, yes I do

Dont feel jealous. Just tell her you need more field practize.

[Sebren]

The pure act of playing a character who has sex makes you a cheater no more than playing an FPS makes you a mass murderer

precisely

[Traceur]

Originally Posted by Travie

Yes, yes I do

then meet your [girlfriend's] new best friend:

[Lord Uthar]

Originally Posted by Cablefish

Roleplayed sex is sooo not cheating. It's not you who are having sex online. It's your character who is having a sexual relation with another character. It's happening in an imaginary universe.

It's not like i'd go "Sorry honey. I cheated on you with a pretty elf from fantasia"

Its not you who is having sex, but its you who is directing your character, performing his actions, doing the creative writing and the wacking.

[Soviet]

If your partner does cybersex, then he/she doesen't feel good with you in the bed :P

[adrala]

Cyber what?
The girl´s place is in the kitchen or in the bedroom. Not in front of the PC.
Any girl that does not obey this simple rule will go to hell!

[-Linn-]

*throws random stuff at Adrala* Oi!

I go to hell? *pout* well, atleast I'll be warm, 'tis something...

[smylie]

he only says that cause he can't find a girl in his kitchen or bedroom! =D

[Traceur]

i was going to answer a retort to adrala but as i was reading this my best friend (lesbian) agreed with adrala (seemingly on the role of all other women) going on "bedroom kitchen shower dinner table sofa back of the car office desk on the copy machine in an airliner's toilet" and continued on a list while snacking on the sushi i made (in the kitchen)...